There’s no wrong way to larp… as long as you’re having fun and respectful to those around you. For the latter part - respect - we have many tools and techniques to make sure we treat other players properly. This includes the concept of “steering,” making out-of-character decisions for the sake of other players. Examples of steering include making sure you have consent, avoiding problematic or triggering role-play and purposely including other players in activities. But what about having fun? Sometimes, players should steer themselves with out-of-character decisions to make sure they have a good time.
The Agency Problem
In business, the “agency problem” is the set of differences in self-interest between a corporation’s managers (who are trying to keep their jobs and get promoted) and the corporation’s stockholders (who want to make as much profit as possible). While they should be of the same mind, these two goals often misalign. Capitalistic metaphors aside, there’s an agency problem in larp: the interests of the player conflict with the interests of the character. The easiest example is probably fatigue: your character’s best friend has an important meeting at 2 am, but you’re exhausted, so you go to bed rather than stay up. In this case, you choose your own self-interest over your character’s.
This isn’t the same as making bad decisions in-character: your character can make a decision that you, the player, perceive as wrong without a conflict of interest (particularly if you enjoy experiencing your characters suffer and fail). The conflict arises when you feel the need to do something because “the character” wants to do, when you don’t want to. Alternatively, you could really want to do something but “can’t” because it’s “out of character.” This negative version is more insidious… most people realize “I should go to sleep if I, the player, need to sleep,” even if they miss out on accomplishing a character goal. However, fewer people realize that they can still do a fun activity, even if their character wouldn’t.
Self-Steering
It’s not wrong to avoid activities simply because “my character wouldn’t do them.” After all, this is live action role-play, and there is a particular pleasure in playing characters different than ourselves. Staying true to the character’s objectives might be more fun in the long-run than partaking in an activity that doesn’t make sense, in-character. But often, the needs of the character work against a player’s enjoyment. A character might be a brooding loner (not fun for an extrovert), a dedicated crafter (not fun for someone who doesn’t like sitting in one place for a while) or deceptive con-artist (not fun for someone who is anxious about conflict). You should be able to (and even encouraged) to play off-type and accept challenges, but if you’re not having fun, the character… and their interests… aren’t working for you.
Many larpers come to role-play through writing or acting or other forms of narrative, and they want a story. Their characters are built to be characters in a particular story. However, larp isn’t a story… it’s story-telling; it’s an activity you do as opposed to media you consume. Your character isn’t a character in a novel or a television show; it’s a tool you use to perform an activity. Making sure that tool aligns with your interests and your playstyle means that your character will be effective as a tool.
So consider steering your character’s actions towards what works for you, as a player. Remember, you created the character, and their interests. If there’s a conflict, you made it, and you can fix it. If you’re not enjoying that conflict, it could be you’ve picked up a hammer to drive a screw, or a wrench to saw a plank.