The following are available for a limited time only from the Post Office.
Another War Story
Procedure
Phys Rep: The sound of your own voice
Spend two hours recounting a story you’ve told at least six times this event (and at least twice in the last 12s). Call “By my voice, knockout, no avoid.” Countered by I Was There (see below).
I Was There
Procedure
Phys Rep: No you weren’t
Interrupt Another War Story that you’ve heard enough times to know. Insert yourself into the story. This now becomes canon.
Maxwell’s Silver Hammer
Gizmo
Phys Rep: It’s a hammer
Effect: Bang on the table loudly while using the Artisan skill. Scream “By My Voice: Attract Raiders and Undead” as loud as you can every thirty seconds. Lose 1 resolve and gain a fracture. All your friends abandon you. Reduce time for all Artisan prints by 13 seconds.
Red Mist Classic™
Single-Use Injectable Brew
Phys Rep: A regular Red Mist made with 20% more war crimes
Effect: None. You’re just a terrible person.
Rhino Hide
Armor
Phys Rep: That flimsy t-shirt you wore to game.
Effect: You just can’t be killed. Like ever. It’s cool bro. We won’t notice.
Selective Hearing
Benediction
Phys Rep: An email sent to staff with a link to an article about how you have a condition where “you can’t hear things you don’t like.”
Effects: Ignore one Area of Effect or By My Voice call due to complete incompetence at listening.
Sorry, Ops Is Closed
Procedure
Phys Rep: Banging on the Director Cabin at 5 am
Effect: Anger Tony. It’s okay, that question you had is really important. Why is there a chainsaw here? Like an actual chainsaw? Who sleeps with a chainsaw?
Tragic Backstory
Procedure
Phys Rep: Fingerless gloves, either black with red trim, or black with black trim
Effect: Spend 10 minutes talking about how your parents are dead or trying to kill you (your choice). At the end of this time, everyone around you must spend 1 Resolve or suffer a 1 minute stun due to sheer boredom. Countered by choking blow.
What My Character Would Do
Procedure
Phys Rep: A mirror, held up to your face unironically
Effect: Make a terrible decision that actively worsens the experience for everyone. Self-immune.